What is Stress?
The term stress covers a wide spectrum of experiences. In truth, we need some stress to give us dynamism in life. When we're up against deadlines for example or have taken on a particular challenge, we can be stressed, but so long as we feel it is within our capabilities or we can do it at a bit of push, then we retain control of the situation and gain a real sense of achievement and accomplishment when we reach our goal.
However, what we really mean when we talk about being Stressed or Stressed Out is in effect
Dis-stress. This is caused when we feel we're overloaded, can't live up to others expectations, trying to make ends meet, when we have a lot at stake, feel we'll let others down, or when we get caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
For ease of reference, I will use the word "stress" in this article in the common usage of the term i.e. when we are uncomfortably stressed out.
We can boil stress down to a feeling of being out of control.
A student might feel stressed when feeling swamped by work. A breadwinner might feel stressed if their pay packet doesn't meet the family's bills, a middle manager might feel stressed when they're put in a squeeze between the expectations of upper management and the needs of workers.
We can experience stress at any time someone has power over us. Perhaps we feel they could negatively influence our life if we fail to please them, or they're making unreasonable demands over us, or perhaps some faceless organisation is behaving unreasonably and we can't see how to get past their 'brick wall'. There are many more examples I could give of stressful situations - I'm sure you could add a few to the list.
However, it's what these things have in common that we are interested in here.
What happens when such situations show up in our life, we get pulled in different directions. One part wants to escape the difficult situation, while another part knows the problem has to be faced and dealt with.
We need all our personal resources to deal with such stressful situations and the worst things is that we often feel at our most powerless and helpless at the very time we need to be strong and to take things in hand.
When we encounter these challenges, we can usually manage them for a while, but as the song goes, eventually "something's gotta give". That 'something' is your wellbeing and peace of mind.
The truth is that as ever it is a waste of resources to try and change the external situation or the problematic person in order to reclaim our equilibrium; however we CAN change our responses to them. To do that we must do some inner work to uncover our hidden resources and heal any issues from our past which may be predisposing us to be overwhelmed by certain situations.
Many, many people just like you, have done just this and have turned their fortunes around by seeing their oppressors as catalysts for change. The flip side of the same coin as it were, is to discover our inner hero, and to triumph over adversity.
© Valerie Chiltonsmith 2013
However, what we really mean when we talk about being Stressed or Stressed Out is in effect
Dis-stress. This is caused when we feel we're overloaded, can't live up to others expectations, trying to make ends meet, when we have a lot at stake, feel we'll let others down, or when we get caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
For ease of reference, I will use the word "stress" in this article in the common usage of the term i.e. when we are uncomfortably stressed out.
We can boil stress down to a feeling of being out of control.
A student might feel stressed when feeling swamped by work. A breadwinner might feel stressed if their pay packet doesn't meet the family's bills, a middle manager might feel stressed when they're put in a squeeze between the expectations of upper management and the needs of workers.
We can experience stress at any time someone has power over us. Perhaps we feel they could negatively influence our life if we fail to please them, or they're making unreasonable demands over us, or perhaps some faceless organisation is behaving unreasonably and we can't see how to get past their 'brick wall'. There are many more examples I could give of stressful situations - I'm sure you could add a few to the list.
However, it's what these things have in common that we are interested in here.
What happens when such situations show up in our life, we get pulled in different directions. One part wants to escape the difficult situation, while another part knows the problem has to be faced and dealt with.
We need all our personal resources to deal with such stressful situations and the worst things is that we often feel at our most powerless and helpless at the very time we need to be strong and to take things in hand.
When we encounter these challenges, we can usually manage them for a while, but as the song goes, eventually "something's gotta give". That 'something' is your wellbeing and peace of mind.
The truth is that as ever it is a waste of resources to try and change the external situation or the problematic person in order to reclaim our equilibrium; however we CAN change our responses to them. To do that we must do some inner work to uncover our hidden resources and heal any issues from our past which may be predisposing us to be overwhelmed by certain situations.
Many, many people just like you, have done just this and have turned their fortunes around by seeing their oppressors as catalysts for change. The flip side of the same coin as it were, is to discover our inner hero, and to triumph over adversity.
© Valerie Chiltonsmith 2013
Valerie Chiltonsmith, Holistic Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist. Est 1996
BA Hons, MNRHP, DHP(NC), MNFSH, Dip Counselling, Dip Coaching.
Phone/text: 0783 784 6923
BA Hons, MNRHP, DHP(NC), MNFSH, Dip Counselling, Dip Coaching.
Phone/text: 0783 784 6923
