What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is Letting Go
The subject of Forgiveness often comes up in therapy, as many problems are caused by holding on to resentment and anger about something that happened, or was done to you.
However the concept of forgiveness is often misunderstood.
Many people think that in forgiving someone it's in some way 'letting them off the hook", but that is most certainly not the case.
The act of forgiveness really has nothing to do with the other person; it's all about releasing the issue from your own emotional investment. You are not condoning what was done in any way.
What forgiveness is actually doing is 'giving forth' the issue, letting it go, or if it fits with your world view, handing the person or issue over to a higher power for cosmic justice to be done.
The only person who benefits from doing forgiveness work is YOU.
The other aspect to forgiveness work is to forgive ourselves. We sometimes focus so much on the other person, that we forget that sometimes we are also angry and resentful at ourselves.
We may be angry that such and such happened, or sometimes we are angry that we are still allowing ourselves to be tortured by residual thoughts and feelings about something which happened a long time ago and from which we can't seem to escape. We feel as if we are trapped in a time capsule in our mind, still reliving a horrible thing, while we see those we deem responsible moving on with their lives. Our lack of self forgiveness just adds insult to injury.
Let me tell you that it IS possible to forgive others and ourselves, to whatever degree we are willing to hand over this issue and let it go. It is possible to be free of them.
Past events and issues don't have to become a life sentence for us.
I say this:
Let the past stay in the past.
Let the future be the one YOU choose.
Enjoy the present moment,
for it's the only moment you have.
Valerie Chiltonsmith © 2014
However the concept of forgiveness is often misunderstood.
Many people think that in forgiving someone it's in some way 'letting them off the hook", but that is most certainly not the case.
The act of forgiveness really has nothing to do with the other person; it's all about releasing the issue from your own emotional investment. You are not condoning what was done in any way.
What forgiveness is actually doing is 'giving forth' the issue, letting it go, or if it fits with your world view, handing the person or issue over to a higher power for cosmic justice to be done.
The only person who benefits from doing forgiveness work is YOU.
The other aspect to forgiveness work is to forgive ourselves. We sometimes focus so much on the other person, that we forget that sometimes we are also angry and resentful at ourselves.
We may be angry that such and such happened, or sometimes we are angry that we are still allowing ourselves to be tortured by residual thoughts and feelings about something which happened a long time ago and from which we can't seem to escape. We feel as if we are trapped in a time capsule in our mind, still reliving a horrible thing, while we see those we deem responsible moving on with their lives. Our lack of self forgiveness just adds insult to injury.
Let me tell you that it IS possible to forgive others and ourselves, to whatever degree we are willing to hand over this issue and let it go. It is possible to be free of them.
Past events and issues don't have to become a life sentence for us.
I say this:
Let the past stay in the past.
Let the future be the one YOU choose.
Enjoy the present moment,
for it's the only moment you have.
Valerie Chiltonsmith © 2014
