What is Anxiety?
Anxiety is a general feeling of unease or uncertainty, it can be mild or very severe. Some people experience panic attacks which can be very debilitating and scary in their own right.
Sometimes people get anxious for good reasons, for example, concern about an exam, a performance or test. But usually the anxiety goes away once the person has done the thing which was causing the concern.
However, sometimes anxiety doesn't go away, in fact it can become a way of being which begins to infect everything a person is doing. Day to day life is plagued by worry and uncertainties. People may start avoiding situations which they perceive to be unduly stressful or anxiety inducing. This then becomes the criteria by which life gets lived, and gradually, anxiety begins to dominate lives, until they have 'no life'.
So what causes anxiety and what can be done about it?
Many people who suffer from anxiety report that it has been with them in the background, for as long as they can remember. They finally decide to seek treatment when for some reason it has become more intense or all pervading.
Sometimes it can be traced back to a specific event or period of time in a person's life, which although those events may now be history, the anxiety has persisted.
In my experience anxiety can be boiled down to simply not feeling safe.
Something has undermined the natural security and trust in the world around us which we must all cultivate in order to live a full and free life. What that 'something' is, varies from person to person and very often the roots are to be found in our early years. Far from expecting dramatic events to be the cause of such feelings, we often find that the seemingly normal events of family life, which most of us go through, can leave a strong impression on a young mind. This shapes the very thinking and belief system, which can cause havoc in adult years. It is well known that young minds are “impressionable”. This means that the substance of the mind becomes impressed with thoughts and emotions which form beliefs. However, emotions need to be expressed not impressed, and once 'impressed' they stick there and cause trouble.
So what sorts of events can be at the root of our anxiety? What shook our world?
Here are just a few of the more common experiences from our childhood years:
It is not always the case that anxiety has it's roots in childhood. Sometimes later life events can be the cause, but in my experience they are the exception rather than the rule.
You can't argue with feelings – though you can try!
What often stops people from seeking help is that they over-ride their feelings using logic.
They reason that they have no right to feel this way or that. “After all their parents had good reason to act as they did, we know this now”. This rationalisation only serves to make matters worse as we now have a feeling, and guilt about feeling that feeling. You cannot apply the knowledge and wisdom of adult hood to the feelings of your child 'self'. Your child self is like another person- it's as if you actually were witnessing a child. It's therefore vitally important to view these experiences through the eyes of that child in order to appreciate the magnitude of their impact.
Feelings are not logical. You cannot apply rational logic to them.
The best thing to do with feelings is to honour them, work through them, and express them.
Emotions are meant to be expressed, not repressed.
Repressing emotions uses up a lot of energy and if left untreated can create physical dis-ease.
In treating anxiety, it's important to honour yourself and your experiences.
In the therapeutic setting we create a safe space to heal these experiences and sometimes that involves 'championing' or 're-parenting' your child self.
Retreating is a natural response to not feeling safe.
When we are stressed, fearful and uncertain, we tend to 'freeze' or curl up, go under the duvet and withdraw from the world. We become tense and fretful. The very opposite of a fully expressed and alive person.
Taking the plunge.
In HypnoPsychotherapy, we aim to restore your energy, your trust in life and in the world.
This will improve your sense of wellbeing and recover your vitality and natural expression. Through therapy you can rejoin the world feeling confident and more joyful about your future and live the life you choose to live.
© Valerie Chiltonsmith 2013
Sometimes people get anxious for good reasons, for example, concern about an exam, a performance or test. But usually the anxiety goes away once the person has done the thing which was causing the concern.
However, sometimes anxiety doesn't go away, in fact it can become a way of being which begins to infect everything a person is doing. Day to day life is plagued by worry and uncertainties. People may start avoiding situations which they perceive to be unduly stressful or anxiety inducing. This then becomes the criteria by which life gets lived, and gradually, anxiety begins to dominate lives, until they have 'no life'.
So what causes anxiety and what can be done about it?
Many people who suffer from anxiety report that it has been with them in the background, for as long as they can remember. They finally decide to seek treatment when for some reason it has become more intense or all pervading.
Sometimes it can be traced back to a specific event or period of time in a person's life, which although those events may now be history, the anxiety has persisted.
In my experience anxiety can be boiled down to simply not feeling safe.
Something has undermined the natural security and trust in the world around us which we must all cultivate in order to live a full and free life. What that 'something' is, varies from person to person and very often the roots are to be found in our early years. Far from expecting dramatic events to be the cause of such feelings, we often find that the seemingly normal events of family life, which most of us go through, can leave a strong impression on a young mind. This shapes the very thinking and belief system, which can cause havoc in adult years. It is well known that young minds are “impressionable”. This means that the substance of the mind becomes impressed with thoughts and emotions which form beliefs. However, emotions need to be expressed not impressed, and once 'impressed' they stick there and cause trouble.
So what sorts of events can be at the root of our anxiety? What shook our world?
Here are just a few of the more common experiences from our childhood years:
- The arrival of a younger sibling which 'dethroned' us.
- The disappearance of our mother (when she went into hospital to have another baby).
- Being uprooted from our safe and secure base when our families moved home.
- Starting school and being separated from our mother.
- Parents arguing or separating.
- A parent becoming very ill.
- Having a difficult time when starting school.
- Being bullied at school.
- Feeling inferior to a sibling.
- Feeling that we were not wanted by our parents.
- Death of a parent or a close grandparent, or even a beloved pet.
It is not always the case that anxiety has it's roots in childhood. Sometimes later life events can be the cause, but in my experience they are the exception rather than the rule.
You can't argue with feelings – though you can try!
What often stops people from seeking help is that they over-ride their feelings using logic.
They reason that they have no right to feel this way or that. “After all their parents had good reason to act as they did, we know this now”. This rationalisation only serves to make matters worse as we now have a feeling, and guilt about feeling that feeling. You cannot apply the knowledge and wisdom of adult hood to the feelings of your child 'self'. Your child self is like another person- it's as if you actually were witnessing a child. It's therefore vitally important to view these experiences through the eyes of that child in order to appreciate the magnitude of their impact.
Feelings are not logical. You cannot apply rational logic to them.
The best thing to do with feelings is to honour them, work through them, and express them.
Emotions are meant to be expressed, not repressed.
Repressing emotions uses up a lot of energy and if left untreated can create physical dis-ease.
In treating anxiety, it's important to honour yourself and your experiences.
In the therapeutic setting we create a safe space to heal these experiences and sometimes that involves 'championing' or 're-parenting' your child self.
Retreating is a natural response to not feeling safe.
When we are stressed, fearful and uncertain, we tend to 'freeze' or curl up, go under the duvet and withdraw from the world. We become tense and fretful. The very opposite of a fully expressed and alive person.
Taking the plunge.
In HypnoPsychotherapy, we aim to restore your energy, your trust in life and in the world.
This will improve your sense of wellbeing and recover your vitality and natural expression. Through therapy you can rejoin the world feeling confident and more joyful about your future and live the life you choose to live.
© Valerie Chiltonsmith 2013
Valerie Chiltonsmith, Holistic Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist. Est 1996
BA Hons, MNRHP, DHP(NC), MNFSH, Dip Counselling, Dip Coaching.
Phone/text: 0783 784 6923
BA Hons, MNRHP, DHP(NC), MNFSH, Dip Counselling, Dip Coaching.
Phone/text: 0783 784 6923
